Fathers

A FATHER'S RESPONSIBILITY

Someone once said, and I believe it is true, that "A Boy loves his mother, but he follows his father." A father is THE role model for every boy – or he ought to be. Many people over the years have offered their own interpretation or definition of the word Father:

a man who gives his daughter to a man who isn't nearly good enough so he can have grandchildren that are better than anyone else's.

a man who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be. 

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me. Jim Valvano 

When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.  William Shakespeare 

It is much easier to become a father than to be one. Kent Nerburn 

A man's children and his garden both reflect the amount of weeding done during the growing season.

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. Sigmund Freud

God tells us that fathers must be honoured, trusted, and even feared. Reverence is to be shown to him with your heart, your mouth, and your hands; that is, in your thoughts, words, and deeds. A father is not merely the author and preserver of your bodily life, but also the founder, guardian, and promoter of your spiritual life. There are reasons a father should be trusted for sound advice. First, God has placed the father as head of the family - it's the order of creation, which will never change (1 Timothy 2:12b-14). God has created the man mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually to succeed in the role. Men usually mature later than women and therefore experience life in a more difficult fashion. Men learn by personal mistakes, which is the most effective way to learn. Finally, men tend to be more objective thinkers, consequently reading situations differently, and thus giving sound advice. Less emotions are involved in understanding and resolving a situation. 

Sons and daughters, please pray for your dads. Support them through the good times and bad. No earthly fathers are perfect - not even close. Offer to God prayers of thanksgiving when you have a godly father. Love your dad regardless. of his earthly position and predicaments. Creatively show your love, so he knows it without doubt - make it an agape type of love, because sometimes men aren't very good at recognizing love, or showing gratitude. All of these descriptions place tremendous responsibilities on those people we call Fathers, and I want us to look at some of those responsibilities.

THE PROVIDER

The Father is charged with providing for the family. Paul says in 1 Timothy 5:8, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever”. He told the Thessalonians in 2 Thessalonians 3:10 "For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat."  It is the responsibility of the Father to provide food and shelter for his family. The entrance of sin into life meant that man had to earn his living by the sweat of his brow, turning work into a job instead of a joy. But then God gave us a way to allow us to turn our labour into Joy again. 

The Privilege of Providing for a Family - This meets some deep inner need of man and makes him feel complete.

The New Birth - It is the presence of Christ in a man's heart that changes work from wearisome into wonderful. Matt 11:28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

THE PROTECTOR

Families need an Authority Figure. The lack of such a Figure can be seen in today's society: alcoholism, drug abuse, suicide, promiscuity are epidemic among teenagers. Research study estimates show that in any 30 minute period, around 20 teens attempt to end their lives; approximately 685 teens become drug users; around 23 teenage girls have terminations. As if that wasn’t enough, more than 3 million American teenagers have been treated for alcoholism since 1980, and around 9,000 teenagers are killed each year while driving drunk. I know that these are American figures, but I wasn’t able to find the UK equivalents in time for this service. These statistics alone show the importance of good guidance from parents, and as the ‘leader of the house’, Father's have to be worthy of and accept that responsibility. A man inherits some respect but most of it has to be earned by consistent living. Wives are commanded by God to give this respect to the husband - Eph 5:22, 33 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord”. 

THE PUNISHER

Prov 13:24 He that spares his rod hates his son; but he that loves him chastens him sometimes. Never punish your child when you are angry – you're not supposed to be punishing them to satisfy your pride but rather for their own good. Compliment and criticize your child's behaviour – not the child. 

THE PATTERN

A man was crossing a field to a tavern one day when he looked behind him and saw his son. "Look dad", the boy exclaimed. "I'm following in your footsteps". The dad immediately turned around and went back home. Your children will follow your leading.

A CHECK LIST FOR FATHERS

Fathers have a duty of responsibility today that is awesome; and can only be handled if a father has a personal continuing relationship with God, through Christ. Instead of ‘Men behaving badly’ we need to become ‘Men behaving Godly’ if we want our children to follow in the right footsteps. So the question is just how do we become this Godly Father figure?

1. Love the mother of your children more

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 

Look to be faithful in doing little loving things for her – opening the car doors, placing her chair at the table, giving her little gifts on special occasions, and writing her love letters when you’re not together. Take her hand as you stroll in the park. Praise her in the presence of your children. A child who knows his parents love each other has a security and stability about life which is gained no other way.

2. Listen more. 

Most fathers find it hard to listen. We are busy with the burdens of work; at the end of the day we are tired. However, we need to listen when our children share their little hurts and complaints, and what they are excited about. And try to refrain from words of impatience at the interruption. Such times can be the best times to show love and kindness. Try to understand what the child says because I firmly believe that the father who listens to his child when he is small, will find that he will have a child who cares what his father says later in life. In listening, pay more careful attention to the child's questions. It is estimated that the average child asks 500,000 questions by the age of 15. What a privilege for every parent – unlimited opportunities to share something about the meaning of life and about your own dependence on God!

3. Seek more opportunities to give a child a feeling of belonging. 

Ps 127:3 Children are a heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is His reward. When a child feels he belongs in his family and is of real worth there, it is not a big step to also feel accepted, loved, and of worth to others and in God's sight. A child feels he belongs when he is involved in the responsibility and work of the family. Celebration of birthdays, when the person rather that the gifts is central, creates a sense of belonging. That same sense is built into the child when he hears prayers prayed on his behalf. No part of child guidance is more important than assuring the child by action and word that he is important and that he has a place in the affections of the family.

4. Express words of appreciation and praise more. 

Many children seldom hear words of commendation and encouragement when they do a job well or exhibit good behaviour. Probably no other thing encourages a child to love life, to seek accomplishment and to gain confidence more than proper, sincere praise – not flattery, but honest compliments when he does well. Correct the wrong; Commend the right.

5. Spend more time together. 

Eph 5:16 Make the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. A group of 300 seventh and eighth grade boys kept accurate records of how much time their fathers actually spent with them over a two-week period. Most saw their father only at the dinner table. A number never saw their father for days at a time. The average time a father and son were alone for an entire week was 7 1/2 minutes. Arthur Gordon tells an interesting experience from his youth, "When I was around 13 and my brother was 10, Father promised to take us to the circus. But at lunch there was a phone call; some urgent business required his attention down town. My brother and I braced ourselves for the disappointment. Then we heard him say, "No, I won't be down. It will have to wait." When he came back to the table, Mother smiled, "The circus keeps coming back, you know." "I know, said Father. "But Childhood doesn't"

6. Laugh more

Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones. Somehow we manage enough muscle to handle the big things of life but forget that life is largely made up of little things. A father's faithfulness in the small things determines the happiness of his children ... and, not just that, it strongly influences their spiritual direction.

7. The best father is the one who knows God as his heavenly father. Only Jesus Christ can provide that relationship. Place that childlike faith in Christ today. 

Fathers, Your responsibilities are awesome. You need help. Our Heavenly Father wants to enable you to be the Father you should be. Commit yourself to him today. Amen