Saturday, 26 July 2025

My faith Journey

I gave my life to Jesus a little before a quarter to nine on Friday 28th June 1985, at a Billy Graham Crusade in my home town, Sheffield, UK. My faith walk has not been an easy one, but I thank God that I have learned many lessons along the way – some good, some bad, some ugly and some downright painful.
You see, this is what faith is about – it’s not an easy road being a Christian sojourner – it’s a long road, a hard road, a slippery road and sometimes I stumble and fall.

However, the one constant in my life since that day has been my belief that no matter what happens in this life Here on this planet, God is with me – He has been with me in the past, even when I was unaware, He is with me in the present, even when I feel He is distant, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that He will walk beside me into the future, wherever that may lead.

I preached the Gospel of Christ, the good news of salvation, freely and willingly offered and made available to all who will call on him, for 25 years from the day I started training as a Methodist Local Preacher. It was a lay position, not ordained, and I spent most of my Sundays either in the pulpit delivering the Word, or in the congregation being fed by the Word. In all of my 40 years under the banner of his love, I can say that “gently He has led me, but mightily He has fed me”.

As I draw closer to God on this journey called life, I feel that my faith has grown, I have become more mature in my outlook, and my roots have gone deeper into the wellspring of the Master’s teaching. It has not been, is not and never will be an easy, smooth path that I tread along life’s highway and I continually find myself praying, going back to scripture to test the next step, before hesitantly edging forward. I don’t always get it right, I know, and I am oftentimes in danger of ‘falling through the ice’, but I have the promised gift of God’s Holy Spirit to be my counsellor, advocate and guide, sometimes prodding me forward, sometimes holding me back, always and ever present.

As I endeavour to walk the way my Master would lead me, I am aware that my speech, my attitudes, and my opinions are at times very forceful. I have been challenged and condemned by Christians and non-Christians alike for my views and for statements I make about my beliefs, and in the past I have compromised my own stand to fit in with the crowd and to pander to popular views, however misconceived I believed them to be. Some have accused me of being offensive and less than Christian in my manner and some have confronted me quite vehemently.

This may come as a shock to some, but I am not prepared to apologise for any view I have offered in the past, any view I may offer in the here and now, and certainly not for any view I may offer in the future. My beliefs are my beliefs and can always be tested by the Spirit and tested against Scripture. I know I do not always get it right, and for the times I am wrong, I bow humbly before my creator and ask his forgiveness, for He is the only one to whom I must atone at the last.

This is me!

I care not
for the ‘popular, easy, comfortable gospel’ that is being bandied around. 

I care not for the ‘wishy washy gospel’ diluted to not offend one of another faith.

I care not for the gospel of prosperity and wealth that has drawn many away from Christ and nearer to abject poverty in both material and spiritual terms.

I care not for worldly acclaim and fame riding on the back of God’s word.

I preach the Gospel of Christ, and nothing besides that, and that to His glory only. My sermons may be long, my words harsh, my demeanour may appear confrontational, but by the same token they may also be full of the love of Christ, should the occasion arise.

I will not compromise on my faith.
I will not walk to the left nor the right.
I will not draw back from the enemy.
I will not put down my sword.
I will not turn my back.

I am HIS and HE is mine.
I am a Warrior For Christ.

I will stand my ground, even should I be the last one standing.

I will proclaim until the last breath leaves my body, or until my Master calls me home, and His will be the choice.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow 
Praise Him all creatures here below.
Praise Him above ye heavenly host.
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
Amen

God bless you all 🙏🏼 

Who is this Jesus (Psalm 23)

Who is this Jesus?
Why do I follow his way?
What does he do for me?

Jesus is my Lord and my Shepherd. With him in my life, I know that I shall want for nothing – nothing that is, that fits in with God’s will and purpose and plan for my life. He will supply my every need – my every need, not want. 

He brings me to times of quiet and peace amidst the turmoil that is life. When I am going through times of great anxiety and fear, he restores my peace of mind. 

He brings comfort to my soul. When I wander away from the straight and narrow, he gently leads me back into the way, the path mapped out for me, because I claim his name as a Christian and his name must never be brought to shame.

Even in the darkest tunnels of my life, and in places of grave danger, I know that there is nothing to fear because he is ahead of me, guiding; he is behind me, protecting; he is beside me, encouraging, he is beneath me, uplifting; he is over me, watching; He is around me and within.

Like a shepherd with his flock, I know his rod will protect me and his staff will gently hold me near.

Even in front of those who are against me, he will show me his love and bestow his blessings upon me, bringing them shame.

His hand moves over my head like healing balm and I am anointed by his touch. My life overflows with all he has given me.

There is no doubt in my mind that I am his and he is mine, and as long as I endeavour to stay true to the will of our Father God, I know that his loving kindness towards me and the mercy and grace he grants me will surround me all the days of my life.

I have an assurance - a blessed assurance – that Jesus has prepared a place for me in our Father’s house, and I shall spend eternity with my Lord Jesus Christ. Alleluia!

Hymn for the Warriors

https://youtu.be/hxiFGmZYVR0?si=iQn5N4cphxMxF8Sc

On Perseverance, Patience and Persistence

Epistle Philippians 3:14-4:1

Gospel Reading Luke 13:31-35


On Perseverance, Patience and Persistence

There was once a man who, with his dad, farmed a little piece of land. Several times a year they would load up the old ox-drawn cart with vegetables and go into the nearest city to sell their produce. Except for their name and the patch of ground, father and son had little in common. The old man believed in taking it easy. The boy was usually in a hurry ... the go-getter type. One morning, very early, they hitched up the ox to the loaded cart and started on the long journey. The son figured if they walked faster, kept going all day and night, they'd make market by early the next morning; so he kept prodding the ox with a stick, urging the beast to go faster. "Take it easy, son," said the old man. "You'll last longer." "But if we get to market ahead of the others we'll have a better chance of getting good prices," argued the son. 

Four hours and four miles down the road they came to a little house. The father smiled and said, "Here's your uncle's place. Let's stop in and say hello." "But we've lost an hour already," complained the impatient son. "Then a few more minutes won't matter. My brother and I live so close, yet we see each other so seldom," the father answered slowly. The boy fidgeted and fumed while the two old men laughed and talked away an hour. On the move again, the man took his turn leading the ox. As they approached a fork in the road, the father led the ox to the right. "The left is the shorter way", said the son. "I know it", replied the old man, "but this way is much prettier." 

"Have you no respect for time?" the young man shouted. "Oh, I respect it very much! That's why I like to use it to look at beauty and enjoy each moment to the fullest." 

The winding path led through graceful meadows, wildflowers, and along a rippling stream ... all of which the young man missed as his anger grew within, and boiling with anxiety. He didn't even notice how lovely the sunset was that day. Twilight found them in what looked like a huge, colourful garden. The old man breathed in the aroma, listened to the babbling brook, and pulled the ox to a halt. "Let's sleep here," he sighed. "This is the last trip I am making with you," snapped the son. "You're more interested in watching sunsets and smelling flowers than making money!" "Why that's the nicest thing you've said to me in a long time," smiled the dad. 

A couple of minutes later he was snoring, as his boy glared back at the stars. The night dragged on slowly, the son was restless. Before sunrise the young man shook his father awake. They hitched up and went on. About a mile down the road they happened upon another farmer, a total stranger trying to pull his cart out of a ditch. "Let's give him a hand," whispered the old man. "And lose more time?" the boy exploded. "Relax son. You might be in a ditch sometime yourself. We need to help others in need, don't forget that." The boy looked away in anger. 

It was almost eight o'clock that morning by the time the other cart was back on the road. Suddenly, a great flash split the sky. What sounded like thunder followed. Beyond the hills, the sky grew dark "Looks like a big rain in the city," said the old man. "If we had hurried, we'd be almost sold out by now," grumbled the son. "Take it easy, you'll last longer and you'll enjoy life so much more," counselled the kind old gentleman. 

It was late afternoon by the time they got to the hill overlooking the city. They stopped and stared down at it for a long, long time. Neither of them said a word. Finally, the young man put his hand on his father's shoulder and said, "I see what you mean, Dad." They turned their cart around and began to roll slowly away from what had once been the city of Hiroshima. 

In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says, “Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” 

Jesus is calling us to take the easy path, not necessarily the quickest but the most beautiful, the most peaceful. To be yoked to Jesus is to be like Him, knowing the Father and having a peace beyond understanding is knowing that God through His Son has you in His care, it’s all planned out for you. Here’s a thing, when you are on a long journey and the scenery is interesting, when it’s beautiful and eye catching, when it’s exciting, isn’t it strange how you focus on the view, and you forget just how long that journey is. The view through the eyes of Christ is awesome, beyond measure and His peace overcomes every obstacle. 

The father and his son in the story went the long way, the cart was still as heavy and the journey was still as hard, but to the father the journey was a joy, because he stopped to savour the moment, he breathed in the fresh air, he enjoyed the view, he smelled the scent of the flowers and he rested along the way, he had peace. Now there’s an alien concept to many of us in today’s world - rest! “Oh I haven’t got time for rest - too busy”. 

HEY!! On the seventh day, GOD RESTED!! So you think you are greater than God? The son just wanted to get there, so he focused on the end, thereby missing all the good stuff in-between. In this Lenten season, I believe that the core question we should be focusing on and trying to get to grips with is, "Just exactly what does it take to persevere in the way of Jesus?" Because make no bones about it, if our lives in Christ are not lives of perseverance, then we are stagnant and our lives are a waste of time because we are doing nothing to further the cause of Christ to advance the Kingdom of God here on earth. 

Helena and I have over the years enjoyed several visits to the cinema and theatre, as well as watching films at home on TV or DVD. As I sat preparing for this evening, I realised that the films we have watched over the past few years have one thing in common; all of them are about Perseverance, Patience and Persistence. The life of Pi, Les Miserables, The Hobbit, Faith Like Potatoes, The Impossible, Fiddler on the Roof. The latest addition to our collection was a film called “Lion” If you haven’t yet seen it, take some tissues with you when you do.

Job 17:9 - The righteous keep moving forward, and those with clean hands become stronger and stronger. 

Perseverance in the way of Jesus doesn't mean mere survival or safety, as it did in most of those films I mentioned. It certainly doesn’t mean adopting personal safety as a core value. We as Christians, as followers of Christ Jesus, are called precisely into the places of suffering and death, even at risk to ourselves, to make God's reign and the power of Christ's resurrection tangible and known. 

"What is it that helps people to persevere in following Jesus, no matter what?"

For early Methodists, when push came to shove, it was the class meetings, those small "bands of sisters and brothers" meeting weekly in one another's homes to sing, pray, read Scripture, and help one another live out the General Rules that most directly helped that happen. So what are we today, as a worshipping community doing in the here and now that supports and encourages Perseverance? It may be a house group, a fellowship group, a Bible Study group. Whatever it is, it needs to be open to all – churchgoers and non-churchgoers, Christians and non-Christians; it needs to be regular; it needs to be challenging, encouraging and inspiring.

1 Chronicles 16:11 Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him.

One day George Muller began praying for five of his friends. After many months, one of them came to the Lord. Ten years later, two others were converted. It took 25 years before the fourth man was saved. Muller persevered in prayer until his death for the fifth friend, and throughout those 52 years he never gave up hoping that he would accept Christ! His faith was rewarded, for soon after Muller's funeral the last one was saved. Now THAT’S Perseverance, Persistence, Patience! Perseverance is a tough word to hear in the Northern Hemisphere, at least, because in general we value instant gratification and short-term pleasure over longer term gains. We tend to fear and avoid risk, pain, and death at every turn. I wonder how many of us have ever undergone anything like the training that last year’s Olympians went through. 

1 Cor 9 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified. 

I don’t think many of us here today engage in such rigorous and demanding training – and we certainly don’t do any such training in our Christian walk, training that prepares us for a lifetime of following Jesus. We find it hard to Persevere in many things in life, so why should our faith be any different?

Listen - by Perseverance, the snail reached the ark. That simple, unpretentious little quote is one of my favourites. I can just picture the snail wheeling along and wheeling along and wheeling along; all the while being passed by those who were bigger, faster, stronger, sleeker. Yet in the end – because of his Perseverance, the snail made it just as surely as the cheetah. Encouraging for those of us who are closer to the snail than we are to the cheetah. 

In our reading from Philippians, Paul calls the still fairly young community of Christians in Philippi into Perseverance in the way of Jesus in the face of real opposition; urging them to stand firm. The New Living Translation puts it this way “brothers and sisters, stay true to the Lord.” We too, you and I, we are called to stand firm in Christ, the one who continues to transform us all. Stand firm, Persevere. Stand firm, Paul says, "in imitating me and those who live like we do." 

It is Christ himself who will at last both bring and complete our transformation into the body of his glory; but it is we who, in the meantime, must stand firm, must persevere in practicing the way of Jesus where we are here and now. The word of God is full to overflowing with promises of Perseverance and endurance from our God who is faithful and just and who loves us. Psalm 138:8 The Lord will work out his plans for my life - for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.

So it is with the necessity of imitating Christ, you can follow the example of those early Christians. Stay in practice. Stay limber. Stand firm. Persevere. Remember - “The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground.” 

Our gospel reading focuses on the Persevering longing of Jesus. And with that Persevering longing, and not apart from that, we see first Jesus' willingness to back his longing with direct actions. Jesus doesn’t just feel for Jerusalem, he acts in the face of the reality that such action can lead to his own suffering and death. He says to the Pharisees, “Go tell that fox, Herod, that I will keep on casting out demons and healing people today and tomorrow; and the third day I will accomplish my purpose. Yes, today, tomorrow, and the next day I must proceed on my way. Jesus had more work to do in Galilee, and he would do it, no matter what. Death awaited him not in Galilee, but in Jerusalem, and he would go there and, yes, be killed, when the time was right, but first he had work to do.

This same commitment to Persevere to complete the mission of "casting out demons and healing people" where we are, even in the face of opposition and death threats, is the first calling of Jesus to us from this reading today. 

The second is to persevere in love even for those institutions that have a track record of harming us or people like us, even if we are likely to face suffering and death as a result of our continued expressions of love. Let me share with you a couple of scriptures, in closing. and if you take nothing else home today – take these words with you. Let them take root in your heart, and let them produce fruit in your life.

Hebrews 12 - Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

Jeremiah 29:11 

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” 

God knows your future, he has it all planned out for you, just be Patient, have faith and be at peace knowing that He is in control, from the beginning, before you were even born God has had a plan for you. Stay yoked to Him, don’t try to rush it, be at peace, be Patient and continue to be faithful, showing goodness and love to others and having joy in the Lord, because your salvation is secured, knowing that everything else will happen in His time. 

Arriving at your destination too late or too early can often be a disaster; you are meant to be where you are at this precise point, no sooner or later. If that father and son had arrived earlier they would have perished along with the rest of Hiroshima. The old man’s timing was just right.

God bless you 🙏🏻 

Awakening

 Silence but for a distant owl

A solitary blackbird begins to sing

The gentle flow of the water feature

Trickles like a country stream

The day begins before the dawn

And as I take this pause

I become aware

Of the very essence of life itself

Alone with my thoughts

My heart begins to gently pulse

My soul wakes from it's sleep

And I welcome a new beginning

I close my eyes

Breathe deeply in

Smile

And slowly exhale

For today

At this precise moment

Life begins aftresh

New beginnings

Past behind

New adventures await

I am reborn

I sense freedom

And I rise

On the thermals of beauty

And I soar ever higher

On the wings

Of potential

And possibility

                                            AJB 06Nov24

Tribute to my late Wife, Ann

SLEEPING PARTNERS
I wonder how many people reading this article have sleep-related problems, or know of someone with such problems. I’m not talking about the ‘normal’ struggles with disruptive sleep patterns or sleep apnoea and its associated problems. You see, my wife of nearly 18 years developed problems with her sleep 2 years after we got together. She was finding it difficult to go to bed and sleep through until morning. The usual pattern was for her to wake 3 or 4 times a night, obviously leading to tiredness the following morning, and on really bad days throughout the whole of the next day.
Some of her symptoms were listlessness, lethargy and an inability to apply herself to even the most menial of tasks. This particularly bothered her when it came to her job, which she had always been so dedicated to and exceedingly competent at for 16 years. It was this lapse that led to the first concerns.

Ann had struggled to rid herself of a chest infection just after Christmas 2007, and it was first suggested that she may be suffering from post-viral fatigue. As the days became weeks, and there was no real change in her condition, further visits to our local GP seemed to indicate that Ann may have developed depression. I will state categorically here and now that I do not have any issues with nor do I lay blame at the feet of any member of the medical profession. Indeed I applaud them for their persistence in trying to deduce the problem. It was quite a natural assumption because Ann’s condition was quite symptomatic of a patient with depression.

However, Ann's employer expressed deep concern for the rapid way in which my wife’s abilities had been affected, and so instigated a process of investigation to discover the root of her symptoms. By now Ann and I had also done our own research, via the internet and through discussion with our GP, into the possibility of Ann having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Thus began a year of almost constant hospital outpatient visits, MRI scans, CT scans, ECGs, blood tests, X-rays – in fact, you name the test and my dear wife probably went through it.

Let me give you a little background on Ann’s condition. Around 1990, Ann started to complain that her ‘migraine’ headaches seemed to be almost constant, and there was some tiredness associated with them. She had tried various medications from the doctor, all to no avail. She was referred to the Neurology department at the Royal Hallamshire Hospital and underwent an MRI scan. It was discovered by the neurosurgical consultant that Ann actually had a birth defect, causing pressure on her spinal cord. The prognosis was as bad as it could be, and a decompression operation was suggested, which involved removing a small section of bone from the occipital plate and also from 2 of the cervical vertebrae. The consultant told us that the suggested operation only gave a 50/50 chance of survival, and even if the operation proved to be successful, there was still no guarantee that there would be no deterioration in the future. So given this original prognosis, I consider myself blessed to have had 18 wonderful years with Ann, and I know that the strong faith we both had will carry me through this time.

Back to the present, and we were to discover that every single test that Ann underwent, came back clear or positive or as nothing untoward. It became very frustrating, because Ann’s condition seemed to be worsening but there was absolutely no apparent reason for it. Over the past 6 months, we saw quite a drastic deterioration, and in addition to everything else, when Ann was at her lowest, her speech slurred occasionally, and she did lose her balance once or twice. She also began to forget some of the simple things such as where she had left her purse, or where we were supposed to be going that day. Our fears of Alzheimer’s were quickly put to rest by our GP, and in the fullness of time, Ann was discharged from 2 of the hospital departments she had been attending. 

It was now felt that Chronic Fatigue Syndrome could be ruled out, and appointments were being made to visit the sleep study clinic to test for sleep apnoea. She had already had two oximetry tests, which had proved inconclusive. Around 3 weeks ago, towards the end of February, Ann began to accept that depression could be playing a part in her worst symptoms, she was given some low-dose antidepressants which did start to help, although we knew it would be a long-term thing. At around the same time, her condition took a drastic nosedive, and her memory problems became worse, and she would start making random statements or asking random questions. She also started to stumble and fall a lot, sometimes when out shopping by herself, and a neighbour or someone else would come to the house to tell me she had fallen, and I would go and help her home. The last incident occurred just a week before she passed away, and staff at the local shop had called for an ambulance. She had a full check-up in the ambulance, where they discovered that her blood sugar was low and her blood pressure was a little high, but she said she did not want to go to the hospital, and so they brought her home.

On Monday, March 9th, Ann had a slight tumble in the kitchen, but fell forward onto some clothes without hurting herself. Then she tried to do a little work upstairs but felt exhausted, so she came and rested. After lunch, she seemed to improve and got quite bright and chirpy. She went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea and never came out under her own strength again. I heard a fall and went in, and Ann was on the floor, looking very confused and upset. She thought she had hit her head but couldn’t understand how. I held her and she didn’t want me to phone for an ambulance, but being extremely concerned I rushed to get the phone, and called them immediately, as I held onto her. She lapsed quickly into unconsciousness as I spoke on the phone. Her body had become quite rigid, and she was in some kind of seizure. I managed to open her mouth and she vomited, and she then fell into a very deep sleep, with breathing becoming difficult with loud snoring sounds. 

The paramedics were there within minutes and although they couldn’t intubate her because she resisted, they managed to place an oxygen mask over her mouth. We rushed to the Northern General Hospital and straight into the emergency department. As they started to examine her, I was taken into the relatives’ room to wait. As time went on, the doctor came out and told me that they had to sedate Ann to intubate her to assist with her breathing. I had some family with me by now, and on returning from a brain scan, I was told that they had discovered a small subdural haematoma. The team then consulted with Ann’s neurosurgeon from the Royal Hallamshire Hospital and it was decided that the haematoma was so small it could not have caused the comatose state she was now in. Operating to drain the blood would not have woken her at that stage.

We were then informed that she would be taken to the Intensive Care Unit, and an hour later we went to see her. By now she had been sedated and paralysed to try to reduce the pressure on her brain, and also her blood pressure. That evening, we went home at the end of visiting time, leaving Ann in the care of the ICU team. The next day we went back to the hospital at 2pm, to be told the sedative had been withdrawn at around 11am to allow her to wake naturally.

Later that evening, the consultant took us to a relative’s room and informed us that the prognosis was not good, and it was almost certain that Ann would never wake up, nor recover. They did go into some technical detail and explained the reason for her comatose state. At about 10pm, we had a consultation with the organ donor coordinators, who told us that there had been a decision made earlier in the day to remove life support. We were in a state of shock but accepted the inevitable and discussed the details of organ donation. At around 1:30am on the morning of Wednesday, 11th March, life support was withdrawn, and within 5 minutes, my beautiful and precious wife Ann slipped away from me, surrounded by loved ones.

The following day I had a call from the coroner, who explained to me that Ann had not actually banged her head and fallen, but that the condition which had necessitated the original operation had been the cause of death. What had in fact happened was that Ann’s brain had moved by 3 centimetres, trapping her brain stem and causing brain death. It could actually have been this that caused the haematoma, which caused Ann to think she had banged her head.

The official cause of death recorded on the death certificate is Arnold-Chiari Malformation.
Now I am not qualified to go into the full details of this condition, but in effect, it is a congenital birth defect which initially caused Ann’s brain to press on the spinal cord. I have been told by the consultants that the result was inevitable and not preventable or reversible. The way it was explained was that the brain had moved over the 18 years since the operation, causing stretching and strain on the mid-stem, and eventually leading to the 3cm movement downwards towards the spine and the brain stem. There is a lot of information about this malformation on the internet, and I have found it a great help to look over some of this. I would not have wanted my wife to have suffered, and the effects of the condition could have been pretty horrific and distressing, had she lived.

So what is my purpose in writing this blog?

It is not
• to lay any blame whatsoever at the door of any person connected with Ann’s case,
• to illicit sympathy, or
• to scare people.

It is
• to highlight this awful condition which I had certainly never heard of before, and which had so many of the medical profession confounded during the investigations.

If, by Ann’s sad and premature death, one person says to their GP, “Do you think it could be …?” or if one consultant or GP stops for one second and thinks, “Wait a minute …”, then maybe Ann’s legacy in death might be life.

God bless you all.
Take care

My Lifesong

Where do I begin? Where do I start? Well, I   was born on 20th December 1955, brought up on a council housing estate, the middle child    of seven, into a working class family. Mum and Dad were both churchgoers. I was baptised Methodist but served as an altar boy in the Anglican Church, to please both parents. 

I suppose I had a normal sort of happy childhood, but because I came from the council estate I was bullied by the children from the ‘posh houses’ in the village. I did have some close friends. As I grew up, the bullying continued because we moved house to a ‘rougher’ end of Sheffield and I was then bullied because I came from the posh area. Couldn’t win, eh?

As I reached my teens, I started to do what others wanted me to do just so that I could say they were my friends. Even at a very early age,  I needed to fit in, I needed something to belong to. I gave no thought to tomorrow at all. My life revolved around being what others wanted me to be. I became a newspaper delivery boy, and   I got into trouble for shoplifting, mainly sweets, chocolate and comic books. I started drinking early, I started smoking early. The older I got, the more I realised that although I had a large group of so called friends, nobody really knew the real me, and nobody cared. But I knew the real me and I cared! And I wanted to be that person – the real me! 

I totally flunked out at school – 2 O level scrapethrough passes out of 7, so my parents were none too happy and made sure I went straight into work – no idling around. In 1973, at the tender age of 17, I joined the RAF, but still the same old me inside. I didn’t take to the life and was soon into heavy drinking, and involved with several young women at the same time. I was discharged from the RAF for going AWOL – twice! And after the second spell inside RAF prison, I was told my services were no longer required. Within two days of coming home, I was admitted to hospital with a renal blockage, and that nearly ended everything. I came out of the hospital after 10 days, and quite soon after that I became a fairground attendant at a holiday camp for the season. Life took a real downward spiral there, back into the same vicious circle – drinking, partying, women. 

Shortly after returning home, I met a girl from my hometown, and found a job in the wholesale market. We dated and started going steady and two years later in 1978, we were married. It  was around this time that I started to descend into depression and started cutting myself, never scratches but actual deep cuts. I regularly visited A&E for sympathy. 

Then in 1980 our first son was born, and I wanted him to be baptised. He was baptised locally, and we started attending church, and were quite at home. This felt good, but we drifted away from church, and I was soon into drinking and gambling, stealing from work to pay for my habits. 18 months later, son number two came along. So along to the same church for baptism. But deep down inside I wanted more – I wanted to be loved and accepted and to belong to something or someone. I felt so lonely, even though I was married and had two young sons. At that time my local church had arranged to go to a Billy Graham crusade, in Sheffield in 1985. So on Friday 28th June, I went along out of curiosity and because it was free. During the meeting, Billy Graham started to  talk about this man called Jesus, he made him sound so real. I had heard somebody say that  he would invite people to go to the front, but no way was I having any of that. And then - I was drawn like a nail to a magnet from where I was sitting to the centre of the ground in front of the stage. I can’t quite describe how I felt. I wept openly as I spoke to a counsellor. 

From that moment, I knew that I was loved, and wanted and 'special' and that I could finally be ME. I found a new positive approach to life. I now had the hope that I had always longed for. I started attending a local church, and I sensed that I was being called to become a preacher – not a minister with the collar and the works.  We went quite happily to church together as a family. By 1988, although I now called myself a Christian, I was back to drinking, gambling and debt. My marriage fell apart, and I moved out. of the family home on May 21st 1989. There  was no chance of reconciliation and I ended up divorced.  

Not long after, I met a lady at church who lit something within me, and we started dating. We were married on June 30th 1991, I started studying to become a preacher in 1993, was accredited in 1998 and have been doing so ever since. My life changed quite dramatically really. I suppose it took a while for me to notice, and others noticed before me, but my whole outlook was more positive, happier, more confident. Life is often a struggle, but I see every struggle as an opportunity to witness to my faith. I went through a bad time at work from 2007 with a back problem, and was given voluntary redundancy in March 2008. In September of 2008, my late wife and I visited friends in America and enjoyed the biggest adventure of our lives. I lost Ann on the 11th March 2009 following a year of ill health, but it was down to a congenital birth defect on her brain. My faith in God has given me the grace and strength to carry on, and not just carry on existing, but I believe that he has given me a whole new lease on life. A wonderful Godly woman came into my life towards the end of 2009, we were married on April 30th 2011, and I moved to Chesterfield to begin yet another new adventure.

One day I shall update the story but for now, I shall leave you with this thought: no matter what has happened in my life, God has always been there, is there now and always will be there. I am 69 and a half years old, and so far, I have survived 100% of my days - and so will you, my friend 

God bless you

Fathers

A FATHER'S RESPONSIBILITY

Someone once said, and I believe it is true, that "A Boy loves his mother, but he follows his father." A father is THE role model for every boy – or he ought to be. Many people over the years have offered their own interpretation or definition of the word Father:

a man who gives his daughter to a man who isn't nearly good enough so he can have grandchildren that are better than anyone else's.

a man who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be. 

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me. Jim Valvano 

When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.  William Shakespeare 

It is much easier to become a father than to be one. Kent Nerburn 

A man's children and his garden both reflect the amount of weeding done during the growing season.

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. Sigmund Freud


God tells us that fathers must be honoured, trusted, and even feared. Reverence is to be shown to him with your heart, your mouth, and your hands; that is, in your thoughts, words, and deeds. A father is not merely the author and preserver of your bodily life, but also the founder, guardian, and promoter of your spiritual life. There are reasons a father should be trusted for sound advice. First, God has placed the father as head of the family - it's the order of creation, which will never change (1 Timothy 2:12b-14). God has created the man mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually to succeed in the role. Men usually mature later than women and therefore experience life in a more difficult fashion. Men learn by personal mistakes, which is the most effective way to learn. Finally, men tend to be more objective thinkers, consequently reading situations differently, and thus giving sound advice. Less emotions are involved in understanding and resolving a situation. 

Sons and daughters, please pray for your dads. Support them through the good times and bad. No earthly fathers are perfect - not even close. Offer to God prayers of thanksgiving when you have a godly father. Love your dad regardless. of his earthly position and predicaments. Creatively show your love, so he knows it without doubt - make it an agape type of love, because sometimes men aren't very good at recognizing love, or showing gratitude. All of these descriptions place tremendous responsibilities on those people we call Fathers, and I want us to look at some of those responsibilities.

THE PROVIDER

The Father is charged with providing for the family. Paul says in 1 Timothy 5:8, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever”. He told the Thessalonians in 2 Thessalonians 3:10 "For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat."  It is the responsibility of the Father to provide food and shelter for his family. The entrance of sin into life meant that man had to earn his living by the sweat of his brow, turning work into a job instead of a joy. But then God gave us a way to allow us to turn our labour into Joy again. 

The Privilege of Providing for a Family - This meets some deep inner need of man and makes him feel complete.

The New Birth - It is the presence of Christ in a man's heart that changes work from wearisome into wonderful. Matt 11:28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

THE PROTECTOR

Families need an Authority Figure. The lack of such a Figure can be seen in today's society: alcoholism, drug abuse, suicide, promiscuity are epidemic among teenagers. Research study estimates show that in any 30 minute period, around 20 teens attempt to end their lives; approximately 685 teens become drug users; around 23 teenage girls have terminations. As if that wasn’t enough, more than 3 million American teenagers have been treated for alcoholism since 1980, and around 9,000 teenagers are killed each year while driving drunk. I know that these are American figures, but I wasn’t able to find the UK equivalents in time for this service. These statistics alone show the importance of good guidance from parents, and as the ‘leader of the house’, Father's have to be worthy of and accept that responsibility. A man inherits some respect but most of it has to be earned by consistent living. Wives are commanded by God to give this respect to the husband - Eph 5:22, 33 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord”. 

THE PUNISHER

Prov 13:24 He that spares his rod hates his son; but he that loves him chastens him sometimes. Never punish your child when you are angry – you're not supposed to be punishing them to satisfy your pride but rather for their own good. Compliment and criticize your child's behaviour – not the child. 

THE PATTERN

A man was crossing a field to a tavern one day when he looked behind him and saw his son. "Look dad", the boy exclaimed. "I'm following in your footsteps". The dad immediately turned around and went back home. Your children will follow your leading.

A CHECK LIST FOR FATHERS

Fathers have a duty of responsibility today that is awesome; and can only be handled if a father has a personal continuing relationship with God, through Christ. Instead of ‘Men behaving badly’ we need to become ‘Men behaving Godly’ if we want our children to follow in the right footsteps. So the question is just how do we become this Godly Father figure?

1. Love the mother of your children more

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 

Look to be faithful in doing little loving things for her – opening the car doors, placing her chair at the table, giving her little gifts on special occasions, and writing her love letters when you’re not together. Take her hand as you stroll in the park. Praise her in the presence of your children. A child who knows his parents love each other has a security and stability about life which is gained no other way.

2. Listen more. 

Most fathers find it hard to listen. We are busy with the burdens of work; at the end of the day we are tired. However, we need to listen when our children share their little hurts and complaints, and what they are excited about. And try to refrain from words of impatience at the interruption. Such times can be the best times to show love and kindness. Try to understand what the child says because I firmly believe that the father who listens to his child when he is small, will find that he will have a child who cares what his father says later in life. In listening, pay more careful attention to the child's questions. It is estimated that the average child asks 500,000 questions by the age of 15. What a privilege for every parent – unlimited opportunities to share something about the meaning of life and about your own dependence on God!

3. Seek more opportunities to give a child a feeling of belonging. 

Ps 127:3 Children are a heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is His reward. When a child feels he belongs in his family and is of real worth there, it is not a big step to also feel accepted, loved, and of worth to others and in God's sight. A child feels he belongs when he is involved in the responsibility and work of the family. Celebration of birthdays, when the person rather that the gifts is central, creates a sense of belonging. That same sense is built into the child when he hears prayers prayed on his behalf. No part of child guidance is more important than assuring the child by action and word that he is important and that he has a place in the affections of the family.

4. Express words of appreciation and praise more. 

Many children seldom hear words of commendation and encouragement when they do a job well or exhibit good behaviour. Probably no other thing encourages a child to love life, to seek accomplishment and to gain confidence more than proper, sincere praise – not flattery, but honest compliments when he does well. Correct the wrong; Commend the right.

5. Spend more time together. 

Eph 5:16 Make the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. A group of 300 seventh and eighth grade boys kept accurate records of how much time their fathers actually spent with them over a two-week period. Most saw their father only at the dinner table. A number never saw their father for days at a time. The average time a father and son were alone for an entire week was 7 1/2 minutes. Arthur Gordon tells an interesting experience from his youth, "When I was around 13 and my brother was 10, Father promised to take us to the circus. But at lunch there was a phone call; some urgent business required his attention down town. My brother and I braced ourselves for the disappointment. Then we heard him say, "No, I won't be down. It will have to wait." When he came back to the table, Mother smiled, "The circus keeps coming back, you know." "I know, said Father. "But Childhood doesn't"

6. Laugh more

Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones. Somehow we manage enough muscle to handle the big things of life but forget that life is largely made up of little things. A father's faithfulness in the small things determines the happiness of his children ... and, not just that, it strongly influences their spiritual direction.

7. The best father is the one who knows God as his heavenly father. Only Jesus Christ can provide that relationship. Place that childlike faith in Christ today. 

Fathers, Your responsibilities are awesome. You need help. Our Heavenly Father wants to enable you to be the Father you should be. Commit yourself to him today. Amen

The 11th Commandment

THE ELEVENTH COMMANDMENT 

Setting

How many of you have given your children the ‘Grand Lecture’ before leaving them in the house alone, whether it’s just for an hour or two while you go shopping or for a longer period when you went on holiday? You know what I mean, don’t you? “Don’t have wild parties! Don’t wreck the house! Don’t forget to keep the house clean! Don’t upset the neighbours!” It’s probably one of the most important speeches you make as a parent, I reckon. And of course, the children always listen, don’t they? And they always obey every word of every instruction to the letter, don’t they? You leave them a set of instructions to follow and as soon as you are out of sight, the instructions are out of mind.

I reckon it’s not too different for us today, as Christians. We have heard just moments ago, what is probably one of the most important messages left by Jesus, if not the most important, and yet as soon as he is out of sight, we forget the instructions he left us. It is the last night before Jesus goes to Calvary. One of his disciples, Judas, has just left to put the wheels of betrayal in motion and Jesus remains with the other eleven. It will be his last night with them and he sets about leaving them a message, a mission if you like, a purpose and a reason as to why they must continue after He has gone.

So what is this great message or set of instructions that Jesus wants to leave with his disciples during these last few precious moments? First of all, he tells them that he has glorified God and is about to be glorified by God. He sets the background in verses 31-32: When Judas had left, Jesus said, “Now the Son of Man is glorified and God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him, God will glorify the Son in himself, and will glorify him at once.

Secondly, he tells them in verse 33 that he must go on a journey and that they will not be able to go with him. He must make this journey alone. “My children, I will be with you only a little longer. You will look for me, and just as I told the Jews, so I tell you now: Where I am going, you cannot come.

Lastly, and most importantly, having set the background, and warned them that he is leaving, before he leaves them, he must give them something that will serve to guide them on their own subsequent journeys. In other words, he may have fulfilled his purpose and be heading on the last lap of his journey, but this is not the end for them. They have not yet come to the end of their journey; in fact, their real journey is just about to start if you like. In verses 34-35, Jesus gives his disciples a new commandment! 

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

That's right! Jesus, on the last night of his life, gave the disciples a new commandment to be honoured and kept. The giving of this commandment was made even more important by the fact that it is one of the last teachings Jesus gave them. And what is that new commandment? Three simple words: Love one another. Most of us, if not all, will have used or heard these words in our communion services – “On the night in which He was betrayed, Jesus, took bread, gave thanks, broke it and gave it to His disciples.” We may do well to remember this “On the night in which He was betrayed, Jesus, took bread – the word from God, gave thanks and gave it to His disciples.” When we remember what Jesus did for us, we need to remember also what He commanded us to do, for Him, for each other. 

The Significance of the New Commandment

What is the significance of Jesus giving a new commandment? Well the significance is found in Jewish history. It was at the very beginning of the Jewish nation that God gave Moses the Ten Commandments. These Ten Commandments were to serve as the foundation for all the other laws and regulations given to Israel. And Moses was given one of the highest places in Jewish history because he became known as "the lawgiver." When Jesus, then, proceeds to give a "new commandment," he is placing himself above Moses, as the new lawgiver. In effect, his new commandment becomes the Eleventh Commandment! If we compare the events surrounding the giving of the ten Commandments and the Eleventh Commandment, there’s a few interesting things we should notice. First of all, the Ten Commandments were given by God to Moses (Israel's leader). The Eleventh Commandment was given by Jesus (God in the flesh) to the disciples (the movement's soon-to-be leaders). Second, God's promise to the nation of Israel was that if they faithfully kept these commandments God would treasure them as his nation and they would become a kingdom  of priests and a holy nation (Exodus 19:5-6). Jesus' promise to the disciples was that if they faithfully kept this commandment, all people would know that they were his disciples (John 13:35). Third, the Israelites' response was to become impatient and frustrated and to make another god (Exodus 32). The disciples' response was to get sidetracked and miss the point. Peter focused, not on the giving of the new commandment, but on the earlier statement about Jesus going on a journey that they could not follow.

The Church Has Become Sidetracked Through the Ages

This same response, that of getting sidetracked, has become a recurring pattern for the Christian Church throughout the ages. How many times have Christians fought Christians down through history? Killed Christians? Burned, starved, hunted, tortured, and mutilated Christians? What do people in the community think of our church as a family of God? Do they see us, as a congregation and as individuals, living out the Eleventh Commandment? By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” You have to note that the focus here with the words of Jesus is on disciples loving disciples, on Christians loving Christians, not Christians loving the world in general. This is not a general call to love everyone but a more basic step. After all, a church cannot effectively reach out with the gospel for very long if its members don't love one another first. 

In this new commandment, Jesus is not simply repeating the ‘second great commandment’ which says “Love your neighbour as yourself” which implies loving the whole of mankind, He is saying “Love one another – stop hating each other, stop dividing the church with labels, LOVE ONE ANOTHER! If you can manage to do that one simple thing, you will be setting an example for others to follow, for the non-believers, for the seekers, for the lost sheep. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” The Jews lived and died by the Ten Commandments.  Why don't Christians live and die by the Eleventh Commandment? Is it any less binding? Is it any less important? Remember, it was given by God through Christ and it was to be  the sign to the world that Christians were God's people and the people of his kingdom.

We Can Live the Eleventh Commandment

"Love one another." These are the simple and brief words of Jesus that make up the Eleventh Commandment. And just as simple and brief are Jesus' instructions on how to carry it out in our lives. Jesus said: "As I have loved you, you also should love one another". In other words, Jesus tells the disciples, "Just do as I did to you." Do you see the direct link to Micah 6:8? “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God”. “Love each other as I have loved you.” How did Jesus love the disciples? Jesus loved the disciples in at least three ways.

Sacrifice: Jesus loved the disciples by making sacrifices for them. He sacrificed his time, his energy, his emotions, his schedule, his family, his privacy, even his life. If we are to live out the Eleventh Commandment and love one another, then we will also have to make sacrifices for one another. In order to love one another we will have to sacrifice our time, energy, emotions, schedules, families, privacy, maybe even our lives for one another. These sacrifices may need to be made in order to visit the sick or hurting, help others with a problem, or responding when called on in an emergency. Remember, this call to love one another and therefore call to sacrifice for one another is for all disciples, not just the ministers.

Sharing: Jesus loved the disciples by sharing himself with them. He listened to their fears, he cried in their pain, he laughed in their joy. He prayed with them and for them. He gently showed them their sin and helped them onto the right path. Jesus shared who he was with them. He opened himself up to them. If we are to live out the Eleventh Commandment and love one another, then we will also have to share ourselves with one another. In order to love one another, we will have to share other people’s pain and laughter, gently point out faults and then forgive, seek forgiveness when wrong, and open up ourselves to others. In other words, we need to be genuine and real with others, not phony. This sharing may be required when comforting the bereaved, celebrating another's achievement, confessing a specific sin and asking for forgiveness, or privately going to another to express concerns about the way they are living.

Service: Jesus loved the disciples by serving them. He called them to follow him, became their master and teacher, and then proceeded to serve them. Earlier in chapter 13 the Son of God was washing the disciples' feet! If we are to live out the Eleventh Commandment and love one another, then we will also have to serve one another. That means no matter who you are in the church, you are never too good or too mighty, too important or too wealthy or too educated, too old or too young to serve anyone else in the church. If the Son of God can serve men and women of all kinds then so can you. How do we love one another as Jesus loved? We sacrifice for one another, share ourselves with one another, and serve one another. Are the situations different in our times? Maybe in the details and the names, but not in general. 

Are there disciples who need to be sacrificed for? Are there disciples who need someone to share their burden? Are there disciples who need to be served? If yes, then there are opportunities for you and me to love one another. Trust yourselves and your instincts to do the right thing. God has been with you: teaching, guiding, loving, encouraging. Now go and love one another. 

In the name of Christ. Amen